TNMC Recent Reviews

We saw Louis Leterrier’s “The Incredible Hulk” (Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt, Tim Blake Nelson, and very brief appearances by Lou Ferrigno, Stan Lee, Bill Bixby, and Robert Downey Jr.)

A version of this movie was made by University of Illinois grad Ang Lee in 2003; so why, pray tell, should there be another version a mere five years later?  Well, two reasons.  First and foremost, because this version was much better.  It is still the same basic story: Bruce Banner, a scientist, becomes infected with gamma radiation, and when he becomes angry, he turns into THE HULK, an incredibly strong and destructive monster.  Naturally, he would prefer to avoid this transformation.  But, the Army, which helped to invent the phenomenon in the first place, would like to harness it for a weapon.  All sorts of merry mix-ups occur as Dr. Banner tries to cure his condition, and the Army tries to exploit it.

Add in the complication that Banner’s love interest is the daughter of the General that was in charge of the experiments, and who is most intent on turning Banner into his secret weapon, and you have drama galore.

Unlike the 2003 version, this movie was short on conversation and philosophy, and long on ass-kicking violence.  Not everyone would see that as an improvement, I realize, but I do.  Add in a SECOND hulk, when another Army officer (Tim Roth) decides to fight fire with fire, so to speak, and you have apocalyptic battles up the ying-yang!  Yowza!!

I should add that, even though I enjoyed this movie, I consider it a waste of talent.  Why did they need to cast Edward Norton and William Hurt?  These are two brilliant actors, and do excellent work in this flick, but I would rather see them making quirky, performance-driven movies, while roles like these go to actors who are better at merely looking good as the special effects unfold around them.  Just like I hate to see Nic Cage make action flicks, when his talents would be better invested in quirky efforts like “Red Rock West” and “Raising Arizona.”  But, again, maybe that’s just me.  Although their talents were wasted here, they certainly both did a good job.

I said there were two reasons why this movie should be remade.  The second is that the studio is clearly setting up a series.  I don’t think I’m giving away anything too significant, but Robert Downey Jr. appears as Tony Stark.  Yes, the same Tony Stark from “Iron Man,” and he is intent on recruiting The Hulk for some longer-term purposes.  I suspect that we are witnessing a large-scale franchise in the making.  But the results of that remain to be seen.  I wait with bated breath…….Jake

We saw Timur Bekmambetov’s “Wanted” (starring James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman, Angelina Jolie, and Terence Stamp) this week. This is a wild roller-coaster ride of action, violence, sex, and special effects that I have to heartily endorse. There is also a lot of humor, although I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a comedy.

A loser dweeb office drone hates his life. His boss abuses him. His girlfriend cheats on him. And he’s broke. Then he gets recruited by a beautiful sexy babe to join a super-secret society of assassins, and is trained in the deadly arts. Since he is the long-lost son of their best agent, who was recently killed, only he can stop the rogue agent who is trying to destroy the entire organization.

The story is pure cheese, and the morality is pretty suspect as well. But the special effects were breathtaking. Many of them were reminiscent of Matrix-type “bullet time” effects, if they had been directed by Sam Raimi. There were also lots of great car chases, fights on top of elevated trains, death-defying leaps, etc. What’s not to love?

The only downside was seeing Terence Stamp in a serious role, one week after seeing him in “Get Smart.” Made it difficult not to laugh out loud in all the wrong places!

This week, we saw Peter Segal’s “Get Smart” (Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Alan Arkin, Dwayne Johnson, Terence Stamp, David Koechner, James Caan, and very briefly Bill Murray, Patrick Warburton, Larry Miller, Kevin Nealon, and Bernie Kopell).  A movie like this really requires two separate reviews: one for casual film-goers, and one for die-hard fans.  So here goes.

For casual film-goers, with only a passing acquaintance with the original TV series, this would probably come off as a light-hearted spoof with moderate levels of humor.  It starts off kind of slow and dumb, but builds up some cleverness and speed as it goes.

Carell is good at playing the sometimes-bumbling but sometimes-brilliant spy, and Hathaway is excellent as his icy-cool and hard-as-nails partner.  Together, they have to find and stop the KAOS plot to blow up the world.  Not as funny as the Naked Gun type movies, but better than most of the other crap that comes out.  And it does have a bit of a heart, with three-dimensional characters that you can truly care about, even though it is basically a farce.

Okay, now for the geeks.  First of all, allow me to tell you of my credentials.  Not only do I remember loving and faithfully following the series on television (and I’m talking about network TV in the sixties, not that Nick At Night rehash), but I carry around to this day a Sunbeam Tiger key fob in honor of Maxwell Smart (and if you don’t get that reference, why are you reading this section of the review anyway?).  What’s more, I live in a townhouse on Larrabee Street, and one of the main reasons I had to buy it was because of the street name!  Okay, Get Smart Geek enough for you?

As for the movie, I of course went in with lots of expectations.  They were mostly satisfied.  I never like a film adaptation that is just a remake of the original, so I like that they mixed it up a bit.  For one thing, Max was transformed from his TV version (a veteran dumb-but-lucky field agent) into a brilliant office analyst who wants to become a field agent.  He eventually gets his wish, and we get to follow along as he learns to adapt to his new role.

Agent 99, instead of the younger agent with occasional flashes of inspiration, here is reworked as the more experienced agent who is assigned to show Max the ropes.  Also, The Chief has been transformed into a much feistier character, and a pretty damn good field agent in his own right.

I actually made out a list of running gags and catch phrases form the TV show to bring with me to the theater, so I could keep track of how many they used.  I wasn’t expecting a lot, but I was wrong.  They used almost all of them, and more! The way they worked them in was very clever.

For example, how do you fit a shoe-phone into a plot when cell phones are a dime a dozen, and much smaller?  Well, Max finds himself stranded with no clothes or equipment, but manages to steal a Cold-War Era Control agent suit out of the Control museum, complete with shoe phone.

I wondered if they would use any of the old sixties cars.  They used them all.  Max steals the Sunbeam Tiger out of the same museum.  But it runs out of gas almost immediately.  So he steals the next car to come along: a Karmann Ghia.  He is also yelled at by a passing motorist (Bernie Kopell!) driving an Opel GT.  Very clever.

A new high-tech version of the Cone of Silence also appears, with predictable results.  And of course the series of slamming doors, ending with the phone booth, are all cleverly updated.

The opening sequence in Max’s apartment is a brilliant montage of memorabilia that went by far too fast for me to memorize it; I’ll have to see the movie again if for that scene alone.  I do remember a signed photograph of “The Craw,” among other things.

Anyway, to sum things up, I thought the movie was incredibly funny, and very true to the needs of us Get Smart Geeks, but at the same time giving us new ideas to enjoy and not being merely a rehash of old concepts.  And of course it ends with a setup for a sequel: The introduction of a new agent named HYMIE.

This week, we saw Bryan Bertino’s “The Strangers” starring Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman. I gave this one a rating of “for students only” because this movie reminded me of a film-school project, where a student practices all the clichés of horror movies: slow zooms, tight framing, monster’s-eye-view, slowly building soundtrack music, etc. Not that this is a bad thing, necessarily; there just is nothing new or innovative to enjoy. Watch any random horror flick from the seventies on TBS on a Saturday night, and you’ve got the same thing for free. Not bad, just not quite worth the effort and expense of a night at the show.

There isn’t much of a story: a young couple is spending the night at an isolated summer house, and find themselves terrorized by three mask-wearing strangers. They don’t show any particular facility for staying alive in such circumstances, and soon are in dire straights. You all know the drill…….Jake

Steven Spielberg’s “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull“  (Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Shia LaBeouf, Ray Winstone, John Hurt).

If this had been the first movie of a new franchise, I might have thought it was fabulous.  But it wasn’t.  It was the fourth, after a nineteen year absence.  And after all that time, I figured, if they had something new to say, it must be pretty damn awesome.  Well, it wasn’t!  It was okay, it was even pretty good, but gimme a break!  After nineteen years, I expected something more than just one more mediocre installment of the same old shit!  It was good shit, to be sure, but nothing new.  So ultimately, I went home disappointed.

Basically, it was the same old Indiana Jones: strange happenings, requiring his special blend of arcane knowledge and physical, gutsy presence, which ultimately save the day and solve the mystery.  The plot (involving a mystical pre-Columbian crystal skull from South America, his old girlfriend Marion who has been kidnapped, and her (and his) son, Mutt, who is along for the ride and possibly to inherit the famous fedora for future films) was pretty much full of holes, but there were some exciting chases and nice bits of humor and excellent cinemetogaphy along the way.  But when all was said and done, my main feeling was, “been there, done that.”  I kind of wish that the filmmakers would have turned their considerable talents to something new and fresh instead of just one more rehash of the Indiana Jones franchise.

But… for a bit of mindless entertainment, it was definitely fun and worth a few bucks and a couple of hours of my time.

We saw John Favreau’s “Iron Man” (Robert Downey, Jr., Terrence Howard (no, not Cuba Gooding Jr.), Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow, and of course Stan Lee).  Very good, rousing “super hero” movie, although the main character isn’t really super, and not that much of a hero, either.  But he is a billionaire industrialist inventor, weapons merchant, and class-A smart-ass, so what’s not to like?  The juxtaposition of Downey’s sardonic sarcasm and the gee-whiz special effects was just off-beat enough to give the movie a unique and fun feel.  And it’s great to see an engineer getting the glory and the chick for a change!  (I’m an engineer, BTW.)

Basically, Downey’s character gets kidnapped by terrorists in the desert while he is making a weapons sale, and forced to build them a missile.  Instead, in order to escape, he builds a primitive Iron Man suit and flies the coop.  But he soon learns about all the troubles his weapons have caused over the years, and decides to mop up some of the bad guys himself.  This doesn’t sit well with some of the board members of his company, causing him trouble from other areas as well.  Much flying, fighting, and blowing shit up ensues.

My only quibble: they didn’t use the iconic Black Sabbath song until the very end, during the credits.  But the music they did use was quite good and appropriately ass-kicking.

Tonight, we saw Rob Minkoff’s “The Forbidden Kingdom” (Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and a buncha other Chinamen).  I’m a huge fan of Jackie Chan movies, and I’m afraid that I was a bit disappointed by this one.

The story was well written and executed, and the cinemetography was absolutely beautiful.  But the story was told in a sort of Disney-esque style that totally left me underwhelmed.  I was hoping for more excitement, more pizzaz, more sizzle, especially given the first screen pairing of Jackie Chan and Jet Li!  But no such luck.  Just a nice, pleasant, but ultimately forgettable movie.

The story itself was kind of nteresting, though.  A modern-day Boston teenage Kung-Fu movie afficianado finds himself zapped back to ancient China, and on a mission to return an ancient fighting stick to its rightful owner.  Only then can he get back home.  Along the way, he meets up with a rag-tag group of martial-artsing misfits, who help him on his quest.  The comparisons to “The Wizard of Oz” are unavoidable!  During the final scene, I almost expected him to hug Jackie Chan and say, “I think I’ll miss you most of all, Scarecrow!”

Anyway, it was lighthearted fun, and I recommend it on that level.  But if you want awesome martial arts breathtaking action, you need to look elsewhere (like most any other Jackie Chan movie)……Jake

P.S. - I was especially disappointed at the lack of outtakes during the credits, like you get with all other Jackie Chan movies.

Tonight, we saw David Ayer’s “Street Kings” starring Keanu Reeves, Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie, Chris Evans, and Cedric the Entertainer.

This was an unholy mess of a badly written movie that I cannot recommend to anyone. UNLESS… they are people like me, who really, really love really bad movies! I enjoyed it a lot.

Basically, it was a throwback to the standard 1970s “loner cop” type flicks, that usually starred tough guys like Stallone, Clint, Bruce Willis, Steven Seagal, etc., and were produced by Golan and Globus and the Canon group. If those names ring a comforting bell, you might just enjoy this little throwback of a flick.

Basically, it was set in the LAPD, where every cop is a criminal, and all the sinners saints. You can’t trust anyone. Keanu is nominally the hero, although he is no less corrupt than all the rest. A complicated plot (which may or may not make sense, if you bother to parse it, which I didn’t) leads to all sorts of macho dick-jousting, shooting, bleeding, and dying.

One of the highlights was seeing TV’s Hugh Laurie (famous for “House” if that name doesn’t ring a bell) playing a hilarious, crotchety, double-dealing internal affairs cop.

That’s it! If that sounds like your cup of tea, go see it. If not, wait for the next Jane Austin adaptation. You’re on your own……Jake

Tonight, we saw Neil Marshall’s “Doomsday” (with Rhona Mitra, Bob Hoskins, Alexander (“Dr. Bashir”) Siddig, and Malcolm McDowell).

There seems to be a lot of movies these days that fall into the category of “really dumb, but I had a great time watching them with my brain checked at the door.” This was another excellent example. Dumb, but fun.

Basically, a nasty virus wiped out all of Scotland in 2008, so they quarantined the entire country. Now, 30 years later, the same plague has popped up in London. An elite team of commandos is sent to Glasgow, where there are believed to be survivors, and, presumably, a cure. The leader is a hot, ass-kicking chick named Sinclair. Will they be able to survive, find the cure, and bring it back to London in time to avert disaster? Well, that’s the question of the hour, isn’t it?

Lots of action ensues, with plenty of blood, head loppings, explosions, car chases, etc. Portions of this movie will remind you of “28 Days Later” and “Road Warrior” and even “Escape From New York” (right down to the one-eyed hero and the bumming of cigarettes).

Lots of fun little touches, too, that you might easily miss if you aren’t paying attention. One character, for example, is dispatched early on, by being decapitated. Later, the same character seems to crop back up, sitting in the passenger seat of a car during a chase scene. I thought, “Whoa, continuity error! That chick is already dead!” But not to worry; the car stops short, and her head goes rolling off! She was just along for the ride, as a corpse. Groovy, baby!

Another cute little touch: just to show how hair-trigger the defenses are at the big wall cordoning off Scotland, a cute little bunny rabbit is BLOWN AWAY by an automated rifle. Just in time for Easter! Yay!!

If you demand logic and reasonable motives and actions, you’ll hate this movie. But if you find joy in gratuitous violence and humorous dismemberments, like I do, you’ll love it. Have fun!…….Jake

P.S. - and it’s always good to see two Star Trek alums in one flick!

We saw Roger Donaldson’s “The Bank Job” tonight (Jason Statham, Saffron Burrows, etc.) which I thought was excellent. Good action, good plot, good twists and confusions, fun characters, plenty of nudity, and just the right touch of humor to keep it light and fun. I heartily recommend it to fans of action and gangster movies.